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A Healing Mother - Healing Prayers outside Clinic

Dear Project Rachel,
I wanted to let you know how your ministry has touched my life. In September of 1985 I was a single mother of 2 children and very lonely. I didn't know Christ as my personal savior and my life reflected it. I was on the fast track of bars and men. I had an affair with a married man and got pregnant. At the time, he didn't want to leave his wife, but he wanted to make sure that I would be taken care of. I didn't need another mouth to feed, I was only making $12,000 a year. The guilt and pain was so tremendous all I wanted to do was get rid of "it". I didn't know any better, but then again, I really did know better. This was the easiest way out, or so I thought. It's amazing how women are duped into thinking this way.

I knew "it" was a baby, but I couldn't handle the responsibility. Bob brought me to the clinic in Granite City, where the procedure would be done. As we were walking across the parking lot, I saw a group of people there. I had heard about people like this. I walked a little faster because I wasn't sure if something would come flying at me or if someone would start yelling at me that I was going to hell. But, they didn't scream at me of do anything to stop me from going in. Unfortunately, I went ahead with the abortion. As I look back, I remember the spiritual darkness that was over me and that place. But, the thing that stuck in my mind was that these people on the parking lot were not yelling or pointing their fingers at me...they were praying for me. These prayer warriors were hitting the devil where it hurts.

I want to let you know that those prayers were powerful and effective. Even though I went through with the abortion, God was still able to get hold of my heart. I repented of my sin and gave my heart to Jesus. The pain of abortion plagued me for a few more months. Then one evening when I was still feeling the guilt, I knelt down in prayer. I asked the Lord to forgive me of that sin - the sin of abortion. I knew then that the Lord would have provided financially for me if I would have kept the baby or chosen adoption for him. In my desperation 4 years earlier, I couldn't see how anything could have worked out. But now, I did. The Lord gave me peace in that moment, but He also asked "what sin - Oh, that's as far as the East is from the West." (That was before the song came out). Then He reassured me that I would see my baby in Heaven. I had peace and knew that He had everything under control.

Now the issue that I have to deal with is sharing this testimony with other Christians. If someone has repented and has been delivered from alcoholism or gambling, he is welcomed into the church with open arms. But if they find out if someone has had an abortion (even if they have repented), they are held at arms length and not accepted. So, I have kept quiet and not made it public. I know that my fears are not Biblical. There is a scripture about being accepted in the beloved and that the fear of man is a snare. So I'm torn on if I should share it or not. I guess I have to be selective in who I tell.

But since I heard Debra Peppers talking about Project Rachel on the radio a few months ago, I have been thinking about letting you know. I wrote down your phone number and tried to call a few times, but hung up because I didn't know what to say. I wasn't sure if you would accept my testimony, but the Lord has been dealing with me on stepping out.

It's been a long road to recovery, but the Lord has brought me through every step of the way. I wanted to thank the group of people who prayed for me. I don't know if you have any idea who that was, but I'd sure appreciate it if you could pass this on.

In Christ Jesus,
A healing mother

    In Their Own Words